Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
