I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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