what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
