How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
