jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
