My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
