so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Drake has all the answers
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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