Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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