i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
