But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
