i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
