i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
