I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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