Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Holy sore nipples Batman
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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