so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
vagina is talking i cant
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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