"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Plan B is the new Plan A
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
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you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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