I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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