Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
