He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
