everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
