i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
