as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
