is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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