I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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