Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
