when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
