FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
