You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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