I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
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One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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