Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
