Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I stole a fireplace last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
