So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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