Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
handjob tips. give me some.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
