ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
