Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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