i barfeds in our rink
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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