Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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