I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
