with your own penis?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
