if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
farters have to be the big spoon...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize