I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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