take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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