I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
