PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
