it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
