I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
