Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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