You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
