I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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