I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
