I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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