she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
