She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
