Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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