Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
