Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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