Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
