Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
