The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
