And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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