No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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