fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
