Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
