I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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