i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
