Screwed.edu
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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