Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have post one night stand depression
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