Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
